“On 21 October 1997, The Onion: America’s Finest News Source boldly proclaimed “Owls are Assholes”. I’ve pondered that statement ever since, making mental notes of which owls were cool (Woodsy Owl, employee of the US Forest Service of “Give a Hoot—Don’t Pollute” fame) and those who were in fact assholes (the smug Owl from Winnie
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